


Words Meet Heartbeats

by Emeli_Thorne



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: AU, Canon Divergence, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hate to Love, No club, Slow Burn, Tara is a Brit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-03-10 09:26:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3285212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emeli_Thorne/pseuds/Emeli_Thorne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arranged marriage AU: After many years of bad blood, the heads of SAMCRO and SAMBEL charters decide it is high time they ended it for good. To bring their charters closer together, Nero Padilla and Filip "Chibs" Telford make a decision: Their children, Jax and Tara, are to marry. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? The only problem: They hate each other.<br/>Also posted on FFnet under same pseudonym.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. She Wears a not White Dress and I’m a Penguin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this idea popped into my head this afternoon and it just wouldn't leave me alone. So, here it is: another Jax/Tara AU. Inspired by some Olicity fics I've read recently which are awesome!
> 
> I CALL DIBS ON THIS ! I haven't seen any Jax/Tara AUs of this sort, so I take full credit for coming up with it and writing it.
> 
> Also: Tara has an English accent in this story and her family an Irish one. Don't worry, it will be explained later on.
> 
> Summary : Arranged marriage!AU: After many years of bad blood, the heads of SAMCRO and SAMBEL charters decide it is high time they ended it for good. To bring their charters closer together, Nero Padilla and Filip "Chibs" Telford make a decision: Their children, Jax and Tara, are to marry. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? The only problem: They sort of hate each other.
> 
> Story title from the Parachute's song Words Meet Heartbeats.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy or anything related to it. I am not making any profit from this transformative work. Written for entertainment purposes only. My characters are my own.
> 
> Sorry for typos and mistakes.
> 
> Happy reading :3

"Mother, I can't believe you're making me do this!" – Tara whined for the hundredth time that day, sitting in front of the vanity table in her knee-length crème dress which was adorned with intricate patterns of lace at the front. She was wearing black pumps that were already starting to pinch her toes.

She didn't want to wear a traditional wedding dress. Because, after all, this wasn't a traditional wedding.

Her cousin McKenna was doing her hair. It was supposed to be a nice French braid, its tail pushed inside the braid so it looked elegant, but Tara was already too irritated to sit still, and so McKenna had to redo it three times already.

"Tara, we've been over this. Your father has made a promise." – her mother responded from the rocking chair she was sitting on, observing her daughter getting ready for her big day. She saw her daughter roll her eyes in the mirror.

"This is beyond stupid! It's like we're in the sixteenth century, for Christ's sake! Am I not an adult? Should I not have my own voice? But, no." – Tara spoke her frustration and utter discontent. She kept shaking her head, making it difficult for McKenna to braid her hair, the blonde sighing in exasperation.

"Please, sit still for once!" - McKenna pleaded, sighing deeply.

"Tara, darling." – her mother said softly, trying to speak to her, but Tara just continued with her rant.

"No, Tara.  _Your_ opinion and  _your_  choices don't matter. Even if this is  _your_  life and  _your_ -"

"Enough!" – her mother yelled this time, standing up in all her intimidating glory. Her raven hair was swept to the side and curled. She wore dark blue dress with twisted front that suited her chocolate complexion and a pair of killer heels. -"I will not have you questioning us!"

Then she lowered her voice and came behind Tara, resting her hands on her shoulders. McKenna moved to the side. Meeting her daughter's eyes in the mirror, with a small smile she said:

"I know that this might be hard for you."

Tara mouthed to say something, her head already turning, but her mother cut her off.

"It  _is_  hard for you. But we thought it was the right thing to do."

She tapped on Tara's shoulder and Tara turned her body. Her mother took her hands in hers and rubbed them soothingly.

"Tara, you are the most precious in this life that your father and I have. Do you really think we would force you to do anything that would harm you? Darling, I assure you, if anything happens to you, your father will have your husband's, _you know_ , chopped off."

All three women chuckled at that and the tension in the room dropped. Fiona kissed her daughter's cheek.

"I promise you, darling. You will change your mind about him soon enough." - her words bore some kind of mystery, one that Tara was unaware of and possible not interested in understanding. "I'll go see if everything's ready."- she then added with a small smile on her face, caressing her daughter's cheek.

She left the room as Tara turned to the mirror again, and McKenna, a short blonde in a red sleeveless dress, resumed braiding Tara's hair.

"You can't fool me, you know." – McKenna raised her eyebrow at Tara's defeated expression in the mirror. Tara looked back at her, frustration clear on her face.

"I know. But my mother is not as insightful as you are." – Tara smiled weakly, already imagining how horrible her life is bound to be alongside that ... that...

She couldn't even think of a name for him. Calling him her future husband sounded awful and it made her painfully aware that her life would not be the same after this day. Sure, in these past few months she'd thought about bailing on this 'obligation' more than once. But her parents knew her and her mother tried, really tried to explain the situation.

Only together, _united_ , could the Tellers and the Telfords rise above years of countless deaths, both necessary and unnecessary, and form a new, stronger family. One that is untainted by blood, misunderstandings, and ill fate of its members.

"If it's any consolation, I don't think he's _that_ bad. Maybe with time, you'll grow to like him."

McKenna seemed enthusiastic about the whole idea of marriage, so much so, that she personally chose Tara's dress when the latter refused to take any part in the preparations. She only instructed her favourite cousin not to dare and pick a white dress. McKenna agreed and, knowing Tara's taste, she chose the first dress that just screamed _I-am-getting-married-but-I-don't-want-to-but-I-have-to-and-want-to-look-beautiful-nonetheless._ Of course, she wasn't wrong because Tara loved the dress even though she hated the occasion.

"Yeah, when pigs fly! You know what? Just leave it."

Tara pushed McKenna's hands away and disentangled the almost completed braid. She then gathered her hair, made a bun and tied it with a crème ribbon.

"There. I can't take it any longer." - she said, smoothing out her hair. -"All these preparations, this pomp. I'm sick of it."

She stood up and started pacing up and down the room, all the while gesturing with her hands. She was practically yelling at this point, and McKenna could do nothing but let her let off steam. Although McKenna understood Tara's reaction to the whole ordeal, the blonde couldn't help but think that maybe, _just_ maybe, Tara was exaggerating a bit.

"He is the most annoying person I have ever met. I cannot emphasise that enough. He has the manners of a monkey, and even that is an insult to the monkey. He is insufferable. I -I" – she plopped onto the white sofa, sighing in desperation. -"I don't think I can do this, McKenna."

 _Would she be acting like this if someone else was in question, and not Jax?_  McKenna shook her head, her blonde wavy ponytail swaying to the side as she smiled and sat next to Tara. Taking Tara's hand, she began to speak.

"If I know anyone that is brave and doesn't let anyone mess with them, it's you. So, whatever happens, I know that you will handle him in the best way you can. If he’s indeed as horrible as you paint him to be."

"Oh there is no doubt about it. He _is_  horrible. But thank you for trying to reassure me. It does mean a lot to me." - Tara hugged her cousin, tears pooling in her eyes.

"I will miss you. Please, come visit me soon. I have no idea how I'll survive without you and Finn and-"- the last name stayed on her tongue; unspoken, burning her lips and her heart nevertheless.

McKenna hugged her tightly, sensing the inner struggle Tara was going through. -"I will, silly. Don't cry, please. You're going to smudge your makeup. And I don't think we have the time to do it all over again."

They laughed as Tara wiped her cheek with a shaky hand and McKenna rubbed her arm to calm her. Their laughter was cut off by a knock on the door.

"Come in."

It was her mother.

Fiona gestured with her hand. -"Come, it's time."

#############################################################################

"Shit, Ope. I look like a fucking penguin." – Jax complained, pulling at his bowtie and observing his reflection in the mirror with a frown.

His blond hair was slicked back; his mother made him shave and he thought he looked like he was an eighteen-year-old kid, not a twenty-eight-year-old grown ass man.  _Like the Princess was going to mind some facial hair_. She had barely spoken to him since they met except to argue with him, so he doubted she'd pay any attention to him now.

Opie laughed throatily, patting him on the back. Just like McKenna, Opie too seemed enthusiastic at the prospect of his best friend getting married. And it seemed like yesterday when they both vowed never to settle down and be pussy-whipped.

"Relax, man. It's not like she'll be lookin' at you. She already hates your guts. Don't think your tux'll be a problem."

Jax narrowed his eyes and punched him in the shoulder, then started re-adjusting his bowtie. It was fucking awful and suffocating.

_Why the fuck did he have to wear it? Oh, right. 'Cause her old man insisted. Fucking Scot._

It wasn't just Chibs that insisted on tradition and formalities. It was also Gemma, Nero, Tara's older brother, Trinity and Tommy... Practically everybody who wasn't getting married and who wasn't supposed to have any saying in this wedding and marriage. Whenever he imagined the wedding, he never imagined it to be like this. So forced, so, unnatural.

Opie re-tied his hair while eyeing Jax, noticing the look on his face. He seemed to be in a world of his own, presumably think about his future. Knowing his friend and all his secrets, Opie could guess what Jax's primary focus was on. Smiling to himself, he mouthed to say something, but changed his mind and swallowed his question.

The door opened suddenly and Nero's head appeared.

"Come on, mijo. It's time."

##############################################################################

There were about two hundred people in the ballroom. Most of them were SAMCRO and SAMBEL members with their families. But apparently, his mother had invited the whole damn town here too. Everyone was dressed nicely and Jax lamented that he wasn't allowed to wear his kutte. He was uncomfortable, his nerves on the edge. Looking around the room, he noticed some familiar faces.

Unser was leaned against the bar talking to Bobby. His sister Trinity and his brother Thomas were talking to some girls Jax didn't recognise. Tara’s cousins perhaps.

Gemma, however, was nowhere to be seen.  _Strange._

The ballroom was neatly decorated. There were white tablecloths with ridges of golden colour on the tables. Centrepieces with white calla lilies were placed on each table, their smell enveloping the entire hall. Jax's lips turned into a shy smile as he remembered something from his childhood. The chairs were also covered with some white cloth with golden ribbons attached at the back.

Champagne and the food were abundant, along with whiskey, red and white wine and whatnot. But Jax wished nothing more but a can of good old beer.

"Jax! Good, you're here."

He turned towards the voice of his mother, who was dressed in an orange dress, her hair hanging loose around her shoulders, her bangs swept to the side. She took his hand and pulled him towards the flower arch placed in one of the south corners of the ballroom.

"Ma!"– he whined as Gemma started removing invisible threads off his suit jacket and smoothing out creases, making him feel like a five-year-old again. That only made another familiar scene flash in his mind, one he cherished the most and that, for a second, made him grin. But he managed to pull a mask of indifference once more, hoping that he was fooling people. 'cause he sure as hell wasn't fooling himself.

"Be still. Oh, look! There she issss! Oh, she is gorgeous!" – Gemma stopped what she was doing and smiling, looked behind Jax. He turned and saw his soon- to-be wife. She was walking towards him, her arm linked with her father's.

He didn't like her when he met her and he didn't like her now. Or that's what he kept telling himself. 'cause fuck!, she looked amazing. Her dress was low-cut, with lace and shit, that turned him on. Her legs were long and toned and the way she swayed her hips... He bit his lip and closed his eyes for a second just to compose himself.

The minute his gaze fell on her face, his horniness disappeared in a second as the feeling of uneasiness settled in his stomach. The look on her face told him how much she hated it all. Her eyes seemed full of sadness and resentment that Jax couldn't help but think that she must hate him too because he was another participant in this 'game'.

 _I hate it too, Knowles,_ he thought sadly.

He never planned on getting married. Not after his heart was broken and he lost all hope of happiness (it was an overdramatic thought, he was aware, but that's the only way he could explain how he felt).

And he never planned on marrying a woman he didn't even know, because he had no idea who Tara Telford Knowles was. A few times that they exchanged words were enough for them to start fighting because he just couldn't keep his mouth shut around her, and his brain would always think the worst things and his mouth would just go with it. Once, she even slapped him because of that. Other times she used insults to defend herself.

He had no idea how they were going to live together if they already got along like cat and dog.

He stood silently on the left side of the flower arch, and Thomas soon came to stand next to him, wiggling his eyebrows as if suggesting something. Trinity stood behind him, holding a small bouquet in her hands. Gemma and Nero linked their hands and moved to stand next to her all the while smiling widely.

Tara's mum stood on the right side, along with one of Tara's cousins whose name he couldn't remember but knew for sure that at least she didn't hate him.

Tara and Chibs finally reached him. Jax felt a weird sensation in his belly, some kind of weird heat spreading throughout his body and eventually reaching his cheeks painting them crimson. He swallowed hard trying to get his nerves under control. Chibs kissed his daughter's cheek tenderly and Jax saw a tear fall down her cheek. Before he knew it, he was reaching up to brush her cheek. He mentally kicked himself to stop the movement.

Chibs turned to Jax and rested his hands on his shoulders, eyeing him warily for a few moments.

"Jackie boy, I give you my treasure, my world, my beautiful Tara. You take care of her, son."- Chibs's unspoken threat hung in the air as Jax nodded weakly, hoping that this shit of a ceremony and party would be over soon so he could get drunk.

He took Tara's hand in his, and for a moment he felt the softness of her skin against his rough one. But all too quickly she pulled it away from his grasp. Tara leaned closer to him and whispered, her warm breath against his ear sending shivers down his spine:

"If you think you fooled me like you fooled my father, you're mistaken.  _Penguin_."

Jax's jaw clenched as Tara stepped back and smiled sourly at him. He bit down his tongue to stop himself from answering her insult.

"Shall we start?" – the official asked and everyone nodded.

Tara turned to him and Jax followed, barely containing his anger, feeling hundreds of eyes on him. That made him even more uncomfortable and once again, he just wished all of it to be over.

 _Who the fuck does she think she is? Calling him a penguin..._ Damn it, he felt like one in this stupid tux, stupid shiny shoes, with his hair slicked back like a cow licked it for him and it just...

"Dearly beloved, we've gathered here today..."

##############################################################################

The ceremony was brief and somewhat awkward, what with their improvised vows and the weirdest kiss ever. Apparently, Tara was in as much hurry to end it as he was.

Then they had to take pictures with their families, endure some heart-warming (read: I-want-to-puke) speeches how his and Tara's marriage was going to unite the two charters and how they could finally bury the hatchet.

_Yeah, right. At the cost of me having to spend my life with this grumpy cat._

"Ok, kids. Now, the first dance."

_Dance? Oh, right._

He reached for Tara's hand, but yet again she pulled it away and made her way to the centre of the ballroom alone. He followed her, glancing to the side and catching his mother's disapproving look. He shrugged. There wasn't much he could do to appease Gemma lately.

The song,  _Can't Take My Eyes off of You,_ started and Jax took Tara's hand in his, as she placed her other hand on his shoulder. His arm came around her waist, resting on her lower back. He felt he squirm a bit, avoiding his gaze and letting out deep sighs.

They started swaying to the music, not even looking at each other. For a moment there, Jax wondered what they must look like.  _Could people see, sense, their discomfort around each other?_

"Teller, I'm not going to repeat myself. If your hand comes anywhere near my arse, I'll punch you in the face and I won't care if everyone sees it."- she said, lifting her head. His baby blue eyes met her green ones, which were filled with fury.

He immediately moved his hand up albeit with a chuckle, resting it a bit higher than the last time.  _Damn it, he thought that at least on this day she wouldn't be as grumpy._

"Feisty, are we?" - he joked, wanting to lighten up the gloomy mood that seemed to have set between them.

She cast him a glare in what looked like 'shut the fuck up' manner.

"Let's get one thing clear: I don't like you. I'm doing this for my father. So don't you dare even think for a second that  _this_  is going to be a real marriage."

_Ok. I've had it._

"Knowles, let's get one thing clear." – he said, pulling her flush against him and whispering in her ear, –" I don't like you either. I'm doing this for  _my_ father. Besides, I can get better anytime I want. I don't need you."

He heard her chuckle as she pulled away from his grasp and narrowed her eyes at him, gesturing with her hand.

"If you're referring to one of those croweaters or however you call them here, I assure you, they've got nothing on me. But I'm glad we cleared things up. And, I hate this song."

She smiled viciously and walked away, leaving him stunned and furious.

_Did she really need to sway her hips so much? Fuck, I need a beer._

 


	2. This Is a Nightmare!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tara’s brother is played by Colin Donnell  
> Tommy is played by Travis Fimmel  
> McKenna by Emily Bett Rickards  
> This is all for future reference so you know what they all look like :D I hope you like my choice.
> 
> Also, don’t forget that Tara has an English accent. Think Tom Hiddleston/Benedict Cumberbatch kind of accent.
> 
> Sorry for typos and mistakes.  
> Happy reading :3

After leaving dumbfounded Jax on the dance floor, Tara went to the bar, resolute to drink herself into oblivion. At the time, it seemed like the only way she would be able to endure this day. She was already mildly irritated with how beautiful the ballroom looked and how everything,  _except for the music_ , was amazing. She allowed herself a moment of weakness and imagined it was the happiest day of her life. It was just a moment and then reality struck her. It was all too good to be genuine.

_Too bad this wasn't a real wedding._

Well, it was, just not the kind she had expected or had dreamt of since she was a little girl.

When she was six years old, her father Filip sent her off to an all-girls boarding school in England, where she had stayed until she was eighteen. Then, she enrolled in a college and later, she became a journalist. As much as her father frowned up her choice of future vocation, it was better than to have her in constant danger.

Thanks to that, she wasn't exposed to the sins and bad ways of SAMBEL. Of course, she knew almost all the members since there were occasions when they would all gather like birthdays, weddings, and other happy occasions, but also some unhappy ones. They were all her family. However, her father preferred to keep her as far away from SAMBEL as possible, to the utmost content of her mother.

Just a few months before, though, that changed.

Tara remembered that day like it was yesterday, since it was the day her destiny was sealed. Ok, she was a bit dramatic, though it most definitely seemed like that to her, no matter how much her father and mother tried to sugar-coat it.

She was in her office, working on a story about technological advances of the twenty-first century, completely engrossed in her research when her phone rang. She answered it, not having the foggiest idea that one phone call would alter her entire future. Ok, now this wasn't dramatising; it was the truth.

Today, more than any other day, she wished she hadn't answered. However, even if she hadn't, there was no way of getting out of this. It's not like anyone asked her what she wanted or thought of this sudden marriage.

She stomped to the bar and ordered a glass of red wine. Sitting on the bar stool (why was there a stool at the bar in a ballroom?) and crossing her legs, she quickly scanned the room.

Everyone seemed to be having a great time. Everyone, save for her, of course. McKenna looked especially radiant and Tara really fought not to cry. She loved McKenna like she was her own flesh and blood and to not have her by her side in what was promising to be the worst period of her life, hurt her deeply.

The bartender handed her the drink and she thanked him, quickly taking a few sips. The wine was her favourite one and she made sure to savour each drop as it slid down her throat.

"You don't look like you're havin' fun at your own wedding."

She jumped upon hearing Finn's voice.  _Why does he always have to sneak up like that?_  Her brother sat on the stool next to her, unbuttoning his jacket. Tara smiled warmly at him, leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

"Oh, Finnegan. I just wish our father didn't come up with this absurd idea. I feel like a fool."- complained Tara, taking another sip of the wine, then twirling the glass, the liquid in it moving in a circular motion, splashing the walls of the glass.

Finn's arm came around her shoulders and she felt like a little girl again, when Finn used to defend her from the bullies and console her when she was sad.

"You aren't a fool. And I admit, this is pretty stupid, but it's the way they decided to resolve their issues. And you know how much those had cost us in the past."

Tara shuddered as an all too familiar ache cut through her heart.  _She was not going to cry. No, no way._

"I know."- came her barely audible answer as memories threatened to tumble down the walls she'd built in her mind to prevent them from hurting her again.

"Then you also know that this is going to strengthen our families, heal old wounds. They would've made the same arrangement for me had Trinity been older. It's the way this is, they way things are handled."

"At the cost of my own happiness, apparently. This is my life, Finn. I'm the one who's going to have to spend her life with a Jacksonass over there.”- she nodded towards the buffet and sure enough, there was Jax, with a beer in his hand, laughing like a fool with her cousins Alec and Bran.

The two ten-year-olds were stuffing food in their mouths as Jax observed them and occasionally stuffed something in his mouth as well, but doing it in the most disgusting way possible. Tara cringed at the sight.

Finn raised his brows in surprise then burst out laughing. Tara smacked his arm, but she too laughed.

"At least you won't be bored."

She bowed her head, her gaze plastered on the shaking liquid in her glass.

"No, I'll be embarrassed by him." - she replied bitterly.

Finn continued laughing to Tara's great dismay.

"Finnegan Telford, you stop laughing right now. This is no laughing matter. This is serious. How am I supposed to be with someone I don't even know?"

Finn got up and stood in front of her, taking her hands in his. He kissed them softly.

"My gorgeous baby sister, you are a force to reckon with. And I know that if anything happens, you'll know how to take care of things by yourself. Besides, you'll have plenty of time to get to know him. And if he is indeed a Jacksonass, I'm sure you'll straighten him out."

He pecked her cheek and left all too soon. Tara watched him sneak up behind McKenna, and moments later, they were on the dance floor. Tara narrowed her eyes at the pair, feeling like there was more to them than met the eye, but she decided not to think about it. For now at least. Sighing, she turned to her glass again.

"You're the only one here that understands me." - she murmured.

"Sorry, were you talkin' to me?" - the bartender, a short bald man, asked.

Tara shook her head, lifting the glass to her lips.

"No, I was talking to my friend here, Red. He's been really helpful."

The man chuckled and went his way, leaving Tara to drown her sorrows.

###############################################################################

"How many egg rolls can you stuff in your mouth?" - Alec asked Jax.

"Don't know. Never tried to stuff my mouth with egg rolls before."

He was drinking his beer and tugging at his bowtie, which had indeed started to choke him.

_Maybe she hexed it._

He glanced over to Tara and noticed how off-putting her posture was. She was holding a glass of wine in her hand and it looked like she was talking to it.

_Great. Aside from being annoying, she's also one sandwich short of a picnic._

He shook his head in despair, but his eyes still bore some warmth after he tore his gaze from her, a small smile playing on his lips.

There was nothing that Jax Teller loved more than SAMCRO, his kutte, and his bike. He would do anything for his club, anything but hooking up with some crazy chick.

And now, not only did he not hook up with her, but to his utmost disappointment, he was married to her. Ok, maybe he was exaggerating, just bit.

A few months back, Nero, his stepfather, informed him that the president of the SAMBEL charter and he had come to an agreement. To stop all the unnecessary bloodshed caused by their business with True IRA in the past, they had decided to unite their two families. It was to show the unity of the two clubs. Starting things over or something like that.

Jax had no idea what that meant, but soon enough, he found out.

Two months after that, Chibs, his wife Fiona, his son Finn, and Jax's future wife came to Charming.

As soon as he saw her, Jax knew she was trouble, but dammit, he never thought she'd be so insufferable. Though, he couldn't blame her for everything. He knew he made some mistakes along the way, mistakes he was ashamed of now.

He finished his beer and took the damn bowtie off, then walked up to Juice and Happy. The two were goofing around and Jax gladly joined them, wanting to forget just how miserable he felt.

###############################################################################

Much later that night, Tara was dragged to the main table where her parents, Jax's family, and Jax were already seated.

She had been successful in avoiding Jax all day, even though her mother kept giving her the stink eye. She hung out with her brother and McKenna, wanting to take advantage of the time they had since her family was supposed to leave soon, a fact Tara struggled to accept.

_Alone, alone._

The word kept floating round her mind.  _I'm going to be all alone after they leave. Alone in that damn town._

"It's time you two head to the hotel." - Gemma said to Jax and her, taking their hands and pulling them into a hug.

"You two look beautiful together. Though I wish you'd shaved properly, Jax." - Gemma patted his cheek as Jax leaned his head away from her. He was clearly uncomfortable, something Tara noticed and couldn't help but enjoy.

"Even if you shave an ape, it's still going to be an ape."- Tara muttered under breath, her arms crossed on her chest as she waited to finally leave the party.

Jax turned his face to her, a smug grin on his face.

"Well, a stuck-up princess is always going to be stuck-up."

She elbowed him in the ribs, earning a pat on the back from Opie and Thomas. Her father and Finn laughed and she wished nothing more but to end this disastrous day.

They were led to the limo ( _honestly, a limo? What for?_ ) and after all the hugging and kissing and encouraging, Jax and Tara got into the car which drove them to their hotel.

They drove in silence, both of them absorbed into their own thoughts, decidedly ignoring each other.

################################################################################

The bellboy accompanied them to their floor. He seemed to have noticed the awkward tension between them as they stood a few feet away from each other, not saying a word and just listening to the smooth jazz music coming from the lift's speakers.

The lift let out a loud ping and the door opened. Tara smiled at the young man and exited the lift, heading towards her room.

Just when she was about to slip the key-card to open the door, she noticed Jax leaned casually against the wall, his hands in his trousers.

"What are you doing?" - she asked in confusion, her brows furrowing.

"I'm waiting for you to open the door." - he answered simply, ignoring her glare.

"This is  _my_  room. I thought we agreed that you're going to get your own room."

"Well"- he started, standing too close to her that she had to make a step back,-"I tried, but apparently, all the rooms are booked. So, you're stuck with me, _princess_."

Tara narrowed her eyes at him, her jaw clenched. She was sick of his attitude, sick of everything really and here he was, doing all he could to irritate her even more.

"I can't believe this. And stop calling me princess!"- she slipped the key-card in the lock and seconds later they were in the room.

Tara gasped in horror when a heart made of rose petals on the bed and a few candles that were alight, illuminating the room, came into her view.

"Oh, my God! Wh-wh-what in the bloody hell is all this?"- she practically screamed, her mouth agape as she struggled to breathe.

Jax walked past her and plopped into an antique armchair that was set in a corner, his hand on his chest as he laughed. A few strands of his blond hair fell forward, creating a shadow on his face against the dim light of the candles.

"I guess it's our wedding bed." - he spoke through fits of laughter.

"Aaagrh!" - Tara groaned and started collecting the petals and tossing them aggressively into the nearby basket.

"This. Is. _The_. Most. Horrible. Day. In. My. Life." - she yelled, stressing every word she spoke while Jax just leaned back and continued laughing. He was having fun watching her overreacting. To him, it was nothing that serious. Although a feeling in his chest seemed to be telling him otherwise. A feeling he pushed back because there was no way he was getting into that. No, not again.

She turned on the light and went across the room to put out the candles, her heels dipping into the beige coloured carpet.

"Stop laughing! You idiot!"

"I'm goin' to change. Dibs on the left side." - Jax said standing up, already unbuckling his belt.

"What dibs? You're not going to sleep in this bed."

He scowled, cocking his head slightly to the side. - "Oh, yeah? And where will I sleep, princess?"

She propped her hand on her hip in an attempt to look confident.  _This is our first fight as a married couple_ , she thought and almost laughed but managed to keep her face serious.

"I don't know. But I am not going to sleep in the same bed with you. And don't call me princess."

He grinned smugly, like he was making fun of her. - "Well, you don't have to. I'll sleep in that bed and you sleep wherever you want."

He saw her clench her fists as her expression became enraged.

"I will not sleep on the floor, mind you!" - she yelled, her face red.

"Well, neither will I."- he yelled back,- "So I suggest you think of something while I take off this monkey suit!" - he went to the bathroom and closed the door with a loud thump.

Tara was boiling, but she couldn't think of anything smart to say. - "Well, a monkey suit for a monkey!"

Granted, that wasn't the best comeback, but still.  
################################################################################

After they changed, and by changed it meant Tara taking off her dress and her makeup, brushing her hair and her teeth, and putting on her favourite flannel pyjama, and Jax just taking off his tux, which left him only in his boxers, they started making the bed in silence.

Tara was ignoring him, still angry at how things turned out for her that evening.

"You could have at least worn some t-shirt and some decent track bottoms."

"I like to let my friend here breathe. Besides, wouldn't want to obstruct the view." - he winked at her, clearly savouring these 'precious' moments when he could tease and mock her.

"From where I'm standing, it's not much of a view." - she replied, smiling back at him with the fakest smile she could muster.  _There, you conceited prick._

Jax rolled his eyes and started aligning the pillows along the middle of the bed, since Tara wouldn't even consider his proposal of spooning.

 _"I will not have your paws anywhere near me!" -_ was her response.

He had to admit, he liked to push her buttons. It was too much fun to ever stop.

She turned off the lights and heard Jax fumbling with the covers. She stood by the bed for a few moments, not sure how things were supposed to go from there in her life. She gulped, her palms sweating.  _This is weird, too weird._ Slowly, she got into bed, moving away from Jax as far as she could without falling down.

Then they lay in bed, Jax on the left side, Tara on the right. For a while the only sound in the room was their breathing.

"You won't even kiss me goodnight?" - he joked, wanting to ease the tension in the room.

"Fuck off." - was her answer as she turned her back to him and started praying that when she woke up, this would all be a dream.

She heard him chuckle and it just made her even angrier.

_Please, let this be a dream, please!_


	3. Let’s Get It Started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: In case you forgot, Tara has a Tom Hiddleston kind of accent :D  
> Sorry for typos and mistakes.  
> Happy reading :3

Jax was coming to his senses slowly, feeling the full impact of the previous day. He had a killer headache, his neck itched from that shit bowtie, and he really need a glass of water, because his throat was as dry as a desert. He was lying on his stomach, his leg hanging off on the side of the bed. As he lifted his head slightly and rubbed his face with his hand, he became aware of the cold he felt against his bare back.

He turned, then frowned. There was no duvet covering him. His gaze dropped to Tara, who was all wrapped up in the said duvet.

Apparently, sometime during the night, he or Tara or both of them had got rid of the pillow barrier between them, the pillows now lying in disarray all over the floor. Having no improvised fence between them however didn’t affect Tara in the least because Jax found her sleeping in the same position as the last night: as far away from him as possible.

Her head wasn't visible, though the tangled mess of brown locks was visibly spread on her pillow. Her breathing was shallow and she was making noises that sounded vaguely like snoring.

Jax smirked to himself. So princess wasn't all that princessy.

He got up slowly as not to wake her up. He lifted his arms up and stretched, then went to the bathroom. After taking a quick shower and brushing his teeth, he put on clean boxers and black track bottoms with white SAMCRO T-shirt. He combed his damp hair with his fingers.

Back in the room, he glanced at sleeping Tara’s figure one more time before taking his phone off the charger and going out on the terrace, silently closing the door behind him.

Morning was fresh with fine breeze that rustled the leaves, producing a pleasant melody which was soon joined in by the chirping of birds. 

Jax dialled the number, then waited a few moments for the person on the other line to answer.

"Good morning." - a soft female voice said.

"Hi." - Jax said, leaning against the fence. -"You seem happy."

“Of course I am. I’m hearing your voice for the first time in three days. Is it over? How was it?"

Jax sighed, scratching his beard. It was odd talking to Vivian about his wedding now that it was over, even after so many months of talking about it over and over again and figuring out how their relationship would go from then on.

Sure, they planned on telling Tara about them and asking her to keep it a secret a while longer, just until the dust settled. However, Jax hated the mess he’d got himself, Vivian, and for that matter Tara into as well and he was afraid that it would all just come crashing down one day, him being unable to control the whole damn situation.

"Yeah. The wedding was yesterday. The guys got drunk and sang some pathetic love song to us so you can imagine that. Tommy and Trin made fun of me the entire time, mom scolded me for not being chirpy enough, Tara’s brother eyed me like he was planning to kill me if I made one bad move on the dancefloor, and to top it all, Tara’s ten-year-old cousins stuffed my jacket pockets with freaking egg rolls! I had a blast, I’m sure you can tell. Anyway, we're supposed to go back to Charming in a day or so." – Jax sounded tired and frustrated, but having to reminisce about yesterday, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy himself at least a bit.

Trin gave him a talk about his marriage and how she would always be there for him and how he didn’t need to worry about her and Tommy not liking Tara since Trin already saw her as her bestie (Trinity’s words, not his). And for the first time since this whole crazy idea was brought up to him, he didn’t feel like the marriage was going to be such a burden. Sure it was a moment’s thought, but seeing how his family liked Tara and that she liked them too made it seem like the entire experience wasn’t going to be all that bad.

Only, once it all ended, Jax feared the impact it would have on all their relationships.

“How’s Tara? I imagine she was freaking out, poor girl. I seriously hate the way your families handled this.” – Vivian sounded genuinely worried about Tara.

“Well, join the club. And yes, she was freaking out, And guess what? We had a fight last night.”

A loud laughter came from the other line. –“Oh my, your first fight as a married couple. What did you guys fight about?”

Jax laughed to himself, a smirk on his face as he bowed his head as to hide it. Seriously?

“Our sleeping arrangements. And don’t laugh. I almost ended up sleeping on the floor.”

Vivian proceeded to tease him. –“Boo hoo, poor Jax. But seriously, I can’t wait to see you. I miss you.”

“Yeah, I miss you too. How’s work?”

He heard a loud sigh and he could practically see her raking her hand through her hair. –“Well, that asshole Andrews gave me nightshifts. And you know how much I hate those. And we’ve had more work this week than the entire last month which exhausted me. I just want to crawl into my bed and sleep until you come back.”

Jax tried to console her. - "I’m sorry, Viv. I know it’s hard, but just think that in a few months he’ll be gone and you’ll finally catch a break. Now, go get some sleep, ok? We’ll talk later. I have to go now anyway. I just wanted to hear from you."

They said their goodbyes, with Vivian promising she would go to sleep but not until she ate something, and ended the call. Jax then went back to the room to wake the Sleeping Beauty up.

##############################################################################

"Tara. Tara, wake up. We're gonna be late." - he shook her shoulder slightly.

"Go away!" – she answered sleepily, pulling the duvet over her head and disappearing completely underneath it.

"They'll be waiting for us. You have to get up." - Jax shook her shoulder again.

"Leave me alone!" - she groaned.

Ok, that's it.

Jax pulled the covers off her body, which earned him a scream and a whole string of curses.

"Why did you do that?"

He just laughed at the furious look on her face.

"You're unbearable!"

Tara jumped off the bed furiously and pushed past him to the bathroom, leaving Jax snickering.

##############################################################################

Half an hour later, she was dressed in a grey knee-length dress with white straps at both sides of it. She put on a coat of mascara and bright lipstick, sprayed some perfume, then tied her hair in a ponytail.

She took her white sandals out of her suitcase and put them on, before walking back into the bathroom to assess her look in the mirror.

The bags under her eyes were a clear proof of how little sleep she got. And it was all 'cause of damn Smug that slept on the other side of the bed that snored the entire night.

Tara tried to wake him, tried to make him stop snoring, but it was futile. The man slept like a log and made noises similar to those of a bear. There had been no chance of her falling asleep. It was only sometime around five o'clock that she finally drifted into the dreamland, completely exhausted.

She turned when she saw Jax leaned against the doorframe.

The Sons of Anarchy kutte was already on him, as were some washed out jeans and white sneakers. He was still wearing the white T- shirt he had on earlier. His blonde hair was slicked back and Tara could smell a faint scent of some fragrance on him. It smelled amazing.

From the corner of her eye she saw a bottle of CK Reveal on the shelf and smiled to herself.

So, he's not a total jackass. He's got some style.

"We need to talk." - he said in all seriousness.

"I agree."

He moved so she could pass and they both sat on the bed and turned towards each other. Tara crossed her legs and straightened her back, whereas Jax put one leg over the other and scratched his beard, going through it with his fingers. Both of them seemed in great need to get something off their chest though neither of them was willing to be the first to talk.

Wanting to get to the point as quickly as possible, Tara decided to go ahead and break the ice.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about this... arrangement we've found ourselves in. Now, I understand you might be-"

"I have a girlfriend." - he deadpanned, meeting her eyes.

Her face showed signs of mild shock. Her mouth was slightly agape, her brows furrowed.

"And it hadn't occurred to you to inform me of this before? How are we going to pretend now?"

She stood up and paced up and down, rubbing her forehead. - "Aagrh, this is so frustrating." - exclaimed Tara.

"I don't see how. Honestly, you’re overreacting. I see no problem here. We can be 'married' a few months, put on some show for our folks and then we'll say we weren't getting along. Everyone already knows we can't stand each other. We can just get a divorce then."

“But, but... Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Jax shook his head in confusion. -“Why would I? Up until now, it wasn’t necessary. I had my life, you had yours. Besides, the only reason I’m telling you now is because she’s gonna come over sometimes and I don’t want you guys being weird with each other. ”

She stopped pacing and looked at him with obvious suspicion in her eyes.

"How are you planning to explain another woman, a stranger, coming in and out of our house to your mother?” – she put an emphasis on our, making it clear to Jax that no matter how ridiculous their marriage was to them, it sure as hell wasn’t to their families, and certainly not to Gemma, and that his plans weren’t as well thought out as he had himself believe. –“Knowing Gemma, she will not be pleased to see things aren't going the way she wants them to. After all, she was the one who single-handedly organised this entire wedding, save for my dress ‘cause McKenna wouldn’t let her."

He sighed and rolled his eyes at her words, dismissing her worries with a wave of his hand. -"Don't worry about that. We can say she’s your friend or something. Mom won’t notice anything. You just have to act cool, trust me. Besides, when she realises how bad we are for each other, she'll back off for sure." -Jax seemed quite sure of his plan, which was a big mistake, showing how little he knew his mother. Tara though still had doubts about everything and having Jax drop this new piece of information right now wasn’t helping at all.

"You think that will work?" - she asked with obvious hope in her voice, her lips spreading in smile which she tried to cover by biting her lip. Like Jax, Tara had no idea just how persuasive and stubborn Gemma could be, so she let herself be fooled by Jax’s enthusiasm and overall carefree attitude when it came to their new life as a fake-yet-very-legally- married couple.

Jax cocked his eyebrow.-"Well, geeze don't get too excited." - he teased even though he himself wasn’t all that happy with his plan. There was just something about it...

She sat on the bed again and sighed, resting her hands in her lap. The wheels in her mind worked overtime, processing and planning, calculating her moves, trying to see where this all could lead.

"I'm sorry. I just want all of this to be over as soon as possible. I can't wait to go back home."

The thought of her home and people she left there made her sad. She missed them all so much. Sure, she must look like some spoiled brat but she really wasn’t. She only had trouble adjusting to this wave of new people she had met these past few months and seeing how there was no chance in seeing any of her friends any time soon... Well, it made her feel lonely. She had said yes to Jax’s plan solely because she wanted a quick way out of their marriage and Charming. 

"Well, I want out of this too. So, we just need to endure a few months living together, and that's it."

“That’s it?” - Jax nodded.

It seemed simple enough of a plan. Simple enough to have them both reel with inner excitement and looking forward to putting on a little show for Gemma.

As if they could actually fool her. 

But never mind that; they were willing to try it, both for their own reasons.

Tara clapped her hands enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear. She could endure a few months. And the first chance she got, she was going to buy a one way ticket to England, US be damned.

She could practically see herself leaving Charming, heading towards the one person who really mattered to her, love-wise. 

"Great! Now, let's go. My father must be waiting for us."

Tara took her purse and tossed in her key-card, her cell phone, and her lipstick and hurried to the lift. Jax followed her, his hands in his jeans pockets.


	4. Changes Are Scary

 

Tara took her purse and tossed in her key-card, her cell phone, and her lipstick, then hurried to the lift. Jax followed her, his hands in his jeans pockets.

He was walking in a slower pace and watching her from behind. Her walk was a graceful one. Her back was completely straight, and her ponytail swayed to the side with every step she made.

Jax couldn’t help but grin slightly as he observed this girl, remembering all the times in the past few months when she wasn’t all that graceful. Especially whenever she got angry with him and started cussing. It was endearing really, and he enjoyed immensely bringing her to her tipping point, teasing her relentlessly, watching her fume until she finally snapped.

When they'd finally reached the lift, she pressed the button to summon it. They stood in silence a few moments waiting for the lift to arrive before she decided to speak, a dose of hesitation in her voice.

"I never thought you were a 'girlfriend' type." - she turned her head slightly and gave him a side glance, her brow raised.

"It's somethin' new. Why? You jealous, princess?" - he shot back, leaning closer to her. A note of her perfume hit his nostrils and his breath caught in his throat. He purposely smirked, knowing that his smugness irritated the hell out of her.

As if on cue, she rolled her eyes, proving him right.

"Of you and your new girl toy? You wish." – said Tara as she stepped back, away from him.

The lift came and they got in as Tara pushed the button that would take them to the first floor.

"So, since we're being civil and all, last night’s quarrel not included, does that mean you've forgiven me?"-Jax was leaned against the lift’s wall, typing something on his phone; appearing calm and even bored though on the inside, he was vibrating with nervousness.

He wanted her to forgive him so badly even though he didn't deserve it. He was a dick to her when she first came to Charming, and now he could barely look her in the eye without feeling like utter shit.

He lifted his head timidly, waiting for her answer, only to meet Tara's surprised expression.

She laughed straight at him! Ok, he wasn’t expecting that at all. Maybe a glare or some profanity but not for her to laugh at him.

"Forgiven? Oh, no. I won't let you off the hook that easily, Teller."

The lift door opened and they headed down the hall to the hotel dining room, the air around them filled with unwelcomed tension. Jax hastened his pace, reaching out to take her hand in order to stop her but Tara shook it off and continued walking, albeit angrily.

"But I said I was sorry, like ten times already. How long can you hold a grudge?" – he tried not to sound too desperate for her forgiveness.

She stopped suddenly and turned towards him. Pointing her finger at him with an angry look on her face, she said:

"You do not get to ask me that. What you did was rude and humiliating! You better pray Finn never finds out, otherwise, you're screwed."

Jax looked at her wide eyed as she spoke, and yes, he was scared shitless.

He had heard the stories about his viciousness; how he gladly implemented it in his SAMBEL dealings. But those that scared Jax the most were the ones that involved Finn's crazy protectiveness over his two years younger sister. As much as Jax admired him for that since he too had a sister, in this case he felt no admiration but pure and undeniable horror.

It's not that Jax was a coward or anything like that, because he wasn't.  Growing up in SAMCRO, he had to witness some pretty gruesome scenes, do some unspeakable things which he wasn’t proud of in the least.

However, he knew that he would never ever want to be faced with Finn’s wrath. Somehow he knew he would be on the losing side and the thought made him back off immediately, though grudgingly.

He made a silent promise never to mention or apologise for that night again. However, he also made a promise to himself to do what he could to make it up to her any way he could. It was the right thing to do after all, right?

Tara had already reached the dining room when he collected his wits and ran to catch up with her. She glanced around the room, beaming wholeheartedly when she spotted her family at the far end of it. Her face practically glowed as she approached them, Jax noticed.

"Good Morning, dad, mum." - she hugged them and kissed their cheeks, then went around the table to her brother.

Finn was already on his feet when Tara wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. It was the safest place Tara ever knew and she relished in all the warmth and love which Finn enveloped her with. Finn hugged her tightly, a chuckle escaping his lips.

"Mornin', sis. Didn't think you'd miss me that soon."

"Shhh, I'll always miss you, silly. I can't believe you're leaving today."

She lifted her head and Finn saw tears in her eyes. Her chin was trembling and he knew she was about to cry.

"Excuse us."

Finn took Tara's hand and guided her to the outside garden through the glass door. They were immediately surrounded by the smell of dozens of types of flowers. A few tables were scattered around the garden.

Finn gestured Tara to sit and she did, while he brought a chair closer to hers and sat himself. Taking her hands in his, he called her name and she lifted her head slowly. A tear had already fallen on her cheek.

Finn wiped the tear with his thumb. His heart ached seeing his little sister like this.

"Tara, what happened?"

His immediate thought was that Jax had said or done something to her and it made the blood in his veins boil. _That little_ -

"I don't know how I'll ever live like this. Last night I couldn’t sleep because of him. He was snoring the entire night, Finn! And I kept thinking, what if dad expects me to be with him, you know, like be _be_ with him? I mean, he must think that. After all, they’ll want grandchildren soon. All of them: Nero, Gemma, da’, Fi.

I can’t do this! I can’t be like that. I don't know Charming, I don't know all those people. They seem nice enough, but I just-" - she sobbed, unable to contain her fear anymore. -"I'm terrified that I'll be stuck here for the rest of my life, that I won't see any of you anytime soon. I'm afraid I won't see you. And I don't have any friends here. My entire life is on another continent. Why did this have to happen to me?

Was this really necessary? Couldn’t they have resolved this some other way? Like found a company together, sign some contracts without having to involve me in their stupid feud!"

Finn wiped the tears off her face then smiled encouragingly at her.

No matter how dark his life was, no matter how bitter about it he was at times, Finn cared about his family and friends. And no matter what people thought of him, Finn Telford had a heart.

A man feared by so many had a great weakness and it was a woman.

A gorgeous brunette with the eyes the colour of the most beautiful meadows and features that reminded him so much of their mother.

And now she was sitting in front of him, crying her heart out and suddenly her pain was his pain, her tears were his tears. Finn longed to wipe the past months from their lives, return to reasonably calm times when his only worry regarding Tara was if she got home safely and whether or not she was still sneaking around with Rhydian thinking no one knew about them.

His gaze softened as he regarded her pale face. - “He only wants you to be happy. I’m sure that-”

“But, I’m not happy. I will never be happy there. My life is not here, Finn. It’s not.”

And Finn knew that. Suddenly he remembered all the arguments he had with his parents because of this. He tried to convince them to think of something else, but his father always used the same excuse: “It’s what your ma’ would’ve wanted anyway.”

Finn never understood what their mother had to do with this and why in the hell she would ever want her daughter to marry some gangster wannabe form Charming.

"Tara Grace, you listen to me, and you listen to me carefully. I understand you, I do. And I know that this situation is shit. If I could do anything to get you out of this, I would. But you know how dad is; he has to have the final say in everything always. As much as I hate it, there’s no way around it.

But I know you too, and you are a fighter, and fighters never give up. You'll make a beautiful life in Charming, and you won't let your doubts get the better of you. As for him, if he ever crosses the line, you call me and I'll come and take care of it." - the last sentence was a mixture of a joke and a threat.

Finn didn’t quite believe his own words, actually detesting the fact that he will have to be away from Tara, not able to protect her should anything happen. He didn’t trust that Teller kid nor that family but he had no saying in the matter whatsoever. The only thing he could do was to assure his sister that he would always be there for her and he meant it.

Tara laughed, sniffing as she started wiping her cheeks, thanking god her mascara was waterproof.  -"I love you, Finnegan. I love you so much."

She hugged him again and held onto him tightly, as he was going to disappear any moment now.

"Oh silly, you know I'll be there for you, always, always. Besides, we'll come visit you, and you'll come visit us." – Finn stroked her back, his chest constricting.

"I know, but it won't be the same."

Oh, he was well aware of that.

She took a deep breath to calm herself before she stood up.

"Now, let's eat. I'm starving." - Finn got up and offered her his hand. She took it and they went back inside.

Her father gave her a questioning look as she sat beside him. He leaned towards her.

"You all right?"

She nodded, kissing his cheek and smiling weakly.

...

Soon, the Tellers came and they all had breakfast together.

Luckily for Tara, Thomas and Trinity were cracking jokes, making everyone at the table laugh. It made her feel more at ease to see that she'll at least have someone to hang around with. They were nice to her from the very start, especially Trinity who did everything to make her feel at home.

Then Gemma asked her something and soon, they were all engaged in conversations with one another.

Chatter, laughter, and occasional cussing were heard from their table.

Tara glanced at Jax who was seated next to her. When he noticed her looking at him, he winked, earning an eye roll from her. It was going to become a habit, it seemed.

He annoyed her so much although Tara couldn’t pin point what exactly bothered her about him. Was it his arrogance, his egocentrism, narcissism, his constant teasing, the way he always found ways to get under her skin and piss her off?

There were so many things apparently.

 _Well, this should be fun_ , she thought.

He grinned, obviously not getting the hint with her eye rolling and unable to stop himself from teasing her.

“Your mascara is all smudged. You look like a panda."

"I do not!"

She scowled, grabbing her purse and taking out her mirror. She looked at her reflection, then closed her eyes and sighed in annoyance.

"You little shit!" – she whispered, punching him in the arm.

She could swear he acted like a child sometimes, not like a responsible adult. _Just my luck._

Jax just laughed, content to see her irritated.-"Careful, princess. With that amount of scowling, you'll be all wrinkled by your next birthday."- he whispered, his breath tickling her as his lips brushed against the shell of her ear.

She leaned back slightly to move away from him, hoping he didn’t notice her shiver. She turned to face him, but since he didn't move, their faces were just inches from each other.

It was an awkward position, one that made her gulp especially when she noticed a glint in his eyes that were focused solely on her.

She looked him straight in the eyes, her voice ice-cold. -"Careful, Teller. You'll be a eunuch by your next birthday if you keep it up like that."

Tara resumed her conversation with her father, not giving Jax any attention whatsoever.

 _Yeah, I'm fucked_ , he thought.

 


	5. How I Knew You Were a Dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been to San Francisco so I apologise if I got something wrong.  
> Sorry for typos and mistakes.  
> Happy reading :3

After they had breakfast, the Tellers and the Telfords went sightseeing.

Tara thought San Francisco was astonishing, and she lamented having to go back to the awfulness that was Charming.

Her mum and dad walked hand in hand, as did Gemma and Nero.

McKenna, Finn, Opie, and Thomas were talking avidly about football and soccer, arguing which of those two sports was better and why. To Tara's surprise, the usually quiet McKenna was the loudest of them all, and seemed to be the most knowledgeable one.

Jax was walking behind her, talking  rather quietly on the phone, presumably with his girlfriend. Tara would hear occasional obscenity and just roll her eyes at his primitivism.

She couldn't fathom how he could behave like that in public. What if someone overheard all those nasty expressions?

Tara on the other hand immersed herself completely in taking pictures of everything she found interesting. She had made at least twenty pictures of Golden Gate Bridge.

Next, they went to the Pier 39 and Tara, as well as all the females from their little group squealed at the sight of dozens of sea lions lying on the docks, bathing in the sunlight.

"This is-"- Tara began saying with the widest grin on her face but Jax, who had apparently finished his phone conversation, came behind her and cut her off.

"Fucking awful! Jesus Christ, this fucking stinks! It's like sewage!" - he was pinching his nose, his face a grimace.

Tara was all but ready to introduce her fist to his face, but luckily Trinity's arrival stopped her.

"Look, Tara! Aren't they just beautiful!"

Tara cast a venomous glare in Jax's direction before turning her back to him. -"Oh, yes, they are. And look at that fellow over there!"- she pointed at one of the sea lions who was lifting his head towards the sun, shifting its body as if it wanted to soak in as much sunlight as possible.

"It looks like it's posing!' - exclaimed Trinity.

Tara took several shots of the creatures from various angles. The sight of them brought a smile to her face and she wished she could stay there forever, just enjoying the sun, being with her family, having fun.

The day ended too soon and they all went back to the hotel to pack. Tara’s family was leaving that evening, a fact Tara gladly ignored the entire day, dreading the moment when she would have to say goodbye to the people she loved the most in this world.

Before they went to dinner, McKenna came to her room to talk to her. They sat on the terrace drinking coffee. Jax went somewhere, Tara didn’t ask where nor did she care.

The two girls chatted for about half an hour about McKenna's internship at some hot shot lawyer's office. 

The blonde couldn't have been happier. This was her opportunity to finally move away from SAMBEL and Tara was happy for her, knowing full well how carefree a life away from SAMBEL was.

She herself was never too involved with the club. She spent her childhood and adolescent years in England, and never had to worry if some harm would befall on her.

Her parents made sure she was safe and happy. She was among the best in her class, she had a couple of good friends, and later on, she managed to find a good job.

What Tara hated was that her brother Finn wasn't as lucky as she was. He did finish college, but instead of finding a steady job, he decided to join dad in the club, something Tara never forgave him.

She wondered why he had decided to put his life in danger like that, but every time she asked him, he replied that it was his duty as the president's son to follow in his footsteps. It was a bullshit excuse, but one Tara had to accept. Finn was her favourite person in the whole world and just thinking about him getting hurt...

"I haven't had the chance to ask you today, how did you spend the night? Any action?" - McKenna wiggled her eyebrows playfully.

"Eww, McKenna! Gross!"- Tara made a grimace, sounding appalled by her cousin’s insinuation. -"Of course not. After much arguing, we agreed to sleep in the bed, since neither one of us wanted to sleep on the floor. But I made sure there was no physical contact whatsoever." - Tara emphasised that fact while taking a sip of her coffee.

McKenna crossed her legs and tilted her head, narrowing her eyes at Tara. -"Don't you think you're exaggerating just a little? I mean, I understand the no touching/no sleeping together part. But, honestly, your overall attitude towards him is... I don't know, too much."

Tara knew that McKenna was right, to a certain extent. But McKenna wasn't aware of what had happened between Jax and her when she first came to Charming.

Of course Tara wasn't too happy to leave her life and come to some godforsaken town in the States she'd never heard of. But when her father laid out the situation to her, all the bad things that had happened between the two charters because of True IRA, Tara accepted to come to Charming and at least get to know this guy she was expected to marry.

And so, she packed her bags and came to Charming, accompanied by her parents. She wished Finn could have come as well, but her dad had left him in charge of everything, since he was the club's vice president.

Their first stop was the SAMCRO clubhouse. Upon their arrival, they were stopped a few times and pleasantly greeted by some of the members, Tara concluded, based on the attire they were wearing.

Then, a woman in her late forties possibly early fifties, leather skinny jeans, and v-neck top came out of the clubhouse and embraced them all in a friendly hug.

"And this must be Tara. You're one smokin' hot girl. It’s been a long time since I last saw your pretty face. I can already see what a great old lady you'll be to my Jax."

It was all too much for Tara. She was still not used to the fact that she was going to get married. Let alone that she was going to marry to a guy she doesn't know and who belongs in the same dangerous, bloody world just like her father and her brother. Now she had his mother act all friendly? And what was that ‘it’s been a long time since I last saw you’ about?

She’d never met this woman before. Not that she could recall.

Gemma took her hand and led her inside the clubhouse. They stopped not far from the bar, where a group of bikers was gathered, drinking, smoking, and laughing.

"Jax." - Gemma called out, pulling Tara behind her.

A guy that was sitting with his back to them turned, a joint between his lips, his blond hair slicked back. He wore some washout jeans and from where she was standing, Tara caught a glimpse of a tattoo on his arm.

The image she had of Jax Teller was the complete opposite of what he was actually like.

She had imagined him looking like most of the guys from her father's club: unkempt thirty-something-year-olds, with long beards, and greasy hair who smoked a pack of cigarettes a day (aside from joints they all regularly smoked).

As far as she knew, the only guys that actually looked like guys and not some old dudes were Finn and Rhydian.

Instead, she was faced with this handsome biker with sandy blond hair and eyes with the weirdest mixture of green and blue she had ever seen.

And that most certainly wasn't something she expected.

_Ok, so maybe he's nice. This doesn't have to be that bad. Maybe we can reach some sort of an agreement._

Her hopes of making their future arrangement as painless as possible for both of them plummeted when he opened his mouth.

"So, you're the chick I'm supposed to tie the knot with?” - he assessed he from head toe, then sneered. A cloud of smoke in the shape of a ring came out of his mouth.

 _What the hell? Who did he think he was_?

She pressed her lips together, her hands clutched in fists as she fought the urge to strangle him.

He continued talking, not noticing or choosing to ignore Tara’s death glare. - “Shit, I expected some sexy bomb to drop here from the way they’ve been describing you. You don’t seem like much.”

Tara’s palm was gladly introduced to Jax’s cheek. She slapped him so hard, that he actually staggered back , holding his cheek.

_That’ll teach him to rein in his arrogance, that conceited shithead._

‘Oooo’ was heard from the guys as they watched the two of them; Tara was all red in face from anger and humiliation, and Jax from rage and Tara’s slap.

Her hand hurt like hell, but it was all worth it once she saw the imprint of her hand on his cheek. Once more, she was glad Finn taught her to fight. Or in this case, put some stupid fucking idiot in his place.

“What the fuck?” – he growled, looking daggers at her.

“Do not ever disrespect me like that again or I’ll knock your teeth out!”

Her whole body was shaking with fury, tears pricking her eyes but she didn’t want to let him see her like that.

“What the fuck, Jackson?” – Gemma pushed him hard and he again staggered back. - “I didn’t raise you to behave like that and disrespect women. I’ll be the one to kick your ass the next time you say something like that to her.” - Gemma yelled, threatening him with her finger. 

Tara’s parents came behind them, looking confused by the scene in front of them.

“What’s goin’ on ‘ere?” – Chibs wrapped his arm around Tara’s shoulders and she leaned back into this semi hug, feeling the anger subside.

“Nothing, dad. Gemma was just going to introduce me to her son.” - she forced a smile on her face. There was no need to worry her parents and start this visit with an argument.

Chibs kissed her temple and proceeded to greet everyone, followed by Fiona. Tara stood in place, taking deep breaths to calm herself.

If this was the man she was supposed to marry, she would rather stay alone for the rest of her life.

Returning to the present time and her conversation with McKenna, Tara replied:

“I get what you mean, but this is my life. And you don’t know him like I do. Granted, I haven’t known him that long, but what I’ve gathered so far is enough to make me act like this. I have my reasons, McKenna.”

McKenna sighed, standing up and readjusting her plump skirt. - “Do whatever you think is right. I just think you should give him some benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’ll surprise you.”

Tara doubted it. No way was she going to change her mind or her attitude towards that hillbilly. No way.

She put the cup on the table and smiled weakly at her cousin. -“I’ll do that when I see some change. However right now, there is no chance in hell I’ll be all friendly with him. I’ve given up enough already. I can’t force myself to change for him. I won’t.”

McKenna patted her shoulder and leaned down to kiss her cheek, then left the room, her dress rustling around her.

Tara sat another half an hour alone on the terrace watching the sundown, contemplating what her life could have been like if she had stayed in England. Even staying in Belfast with SAMBEL seemed like a better choice than this.

She glanced at her watch. Her parents’ flight was due in three hours. Getting up, she dialled Finn and they agreed to meet in the lobby when they’d packed.

To be continued...


	6. Finn the Protector

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for reading this story. And thank you for your support :D
> 
> Finn= Colin Donnell
> 
> McKenna= Emily Bett Rickards
> 
> Sorry for typos and mistakes.
> 
> Happy reading :3

 

While Tara and McKenna drank coffee and chatted, Finn and Jax were having a conversation of their own. Earlier, when they got back to the hotel, Finn invited Jax to his room. He wanted to make sure that this man his sister married was worthy of her.

Ever since their mum died, Finn became almost obsessed in his desire to protect his sister.

He was only six, and Tara only four when their mother Grace died. Her death took an enormous toll on their father, but even bigger on the two of them. Suddenly, Finnegan and Tara Telford Knowles became motherless children.

Finnegan watched as his little sister Tara withdrew from the world, opting to play in her room with her dolls rather than to go outside and play with children of her own age. He himself found it difficult to understand why everything changed so suddenly. But one thing he did understand was that he only had her and that Tara only had him.

Their father married Fiona two years later. As far as stepmothers go, she could have been the worst. However, she wasn't. She embraced Tara and Finn like they were her own blood and it was thanks to her that Tara finally got out of her shell.

Fiona was the best mother that not even a lottery could give them. Finn thanked God every day that she entered their lives.

Finn couldn't say that he was surprised when his father suggested the marriage to Tara. However, he was surprised she agreed to it. Always stubborn, his little sister never let anyone make any decisions for her. She was strong and independent.

Seeing his sister so defeated that morning broke his heart and he wished he could tell her for sure that things were going to be ok. There was no guarantee he could give her however. They were all going to be thousands of miles away from here, a fact that he didn’t like one bit.

Finn somehow knew that this marriage was going to be the most difficult challenge his sister had ever faced. And if he could assist her in any way, well then he would definitely do it.

Especially with relation to her new husband.

Just like McKenna and Tara, the boys too sat on the terrace, though there was an air of animosity surrounding them.

Finn was dressed in dark grey suit and white shirt sans tie. He crossed his legs, his gaze fixed on something in the distance. Seemingly though because he was aware that Jax feared him, so looking even a little calm yet frightening at the same time seemed like a good intimidation strategy.

Jax on the other hand, stretched his feet out and leaned back against the chair, lighting a cigarette. His plan was too look as carefree as possible and not at all like a frightened kid. _Yeah, totally._

This silence was definitely scaring him. He wondered why Finn wanted to talk to him, though he had a pretty good idea it was about Tara. _Keep it cool, Jax._

He was just exhaling the smoke when Finn spoke.

“How much do you care about your family, Jax?” – asked Finn without looking at Jax.

Jax frowned, confused by his question. -“A lot. They’re the most important people in my life.” – he answered, taking another drag.

He saw Finn’s lips curve in a smile.

“Exactly. Family is important. And Tara is my family.” - his face became softer as he began speaking of his sister. - “I remember, one time, we were about eight and ten, we were playing in our backyard with a few of our friends. Rhydian, who at the time had a childish crush on Tara, was trying to get her attention. He kept pulling her pigtails, driving Tara mad. She was ignoring him. But then, the genius had an idea. He took a hose and sprayed her with water.”

They both laughed. Jax imagined little Tara drenched with a furious look on her face. Something warm tugged at his chest. -“I can guess what she did.”

Finn chuckled. - “If your guess is that she punched him so hard he fell on the ground, then you’re correct. I can see her clearly: soaking wet, shaking from cold, her brows furrowed and her fists clenched. She just starts yelling at him. _How dare he pull her pigtail and be so obtuse_? ” - he was making a face, imitating his eight-year-old sister.

“I guess she always had that fire in her.” - said Jax matter-of-factly, putting out his cigarette and exhaling the remaining smoke out of his lungs.

Finn cleared his throat, turning to Jax. His eyes were icy cold that Jax actually gulped, already afraid of what Tara’s brother might say next.

“The moral of the story I just told you is that if you keep pushing her buttons, you are bound to get burnt. Tara might seem nice, but she can stand up for herself. Don’t underestimate her and think she’s weak. She’s anything but.”

Jax sighed, stroking his beard. He knew what Finn tried to say: stop messing with her.

“Listen, man. I hate this arrangement as much as she does. I’m just tryin’ to lighten up this whole situation.”

Finn smiled coldly, crossing his fingers on the table and leaning forward.

“Listen, _Jax_. My sister is the best person I know. She already proved how brave she was by accepting this ludicrous idea of our parents. Tara is a strong woman that can fight her own battles. But sometimes she needs someone who’ll have her back. That’s why I’m here. Let’s make this short and clear: If anything happens to her because of you, I’ll come to that shitty town of yours and make sure that you remember the name of Finnegan Telford. ”

Jax mouthed to say something, but Finn just continued talking. -“My family is sacred to me. My sister is the reason I haven’t gone mad amidst this fucking feud with your charter and the True IRA. So, this is my first and last ‘advice’ to you. Do not hurt her in any way. Got it?”

Jax sat in the chair, completely confused and defeated. He had been married to her for a day, and he was already getting death threats. That’s not how he hoped things would go.

Finn had a no-nonsense-look on his face and Jax didn’t dare to say anything. He just nodded.

“Good. You can go now.” - Finn dismissed him like he was nothing more but an annoying fly.

Jax wanted to punch the guy, but decided against it. He was already tired of everything and couldn’t wait to get back to Charming.  He left Finn’s room rolling his eyes and hoping that the nightmare he got himself into would not last long.

##############################################################################

After dinner, the Tellers and Telfords headed to the airport.

Tara fought not to cry. But her soul ached at the prospect of being alone. She held onto her mother’s hand the whole ride to the airport, her head leaned on her shoulder. Fiona kissed the top of her head and stroked her cheek.

“Do not be sad, my dear. I’ll visit you soon, I promise.” – Fiona said softly.

McKenna took her other hand and smiled widely. -“And we’ll talk on the phone and skype and text. It will be like we’re all there.”

Tara smiled back, but she knew it wouldn’t be like that. They will be back home, all together, while she was stuck with that hillbilly.

Things were changing, her life was changing, and Tara didn’t like it one bit.

##############################################################################

At the airport, her father pulled her to the side, holding her close.

“My sweet daughter. I know how hard this is for you. But remember, you’re a Telford and you don’t let anyone mess with you. If you ever need me or Finn, just call us, and we’ll be there.”

Tara kissed him on the cheek and wrapped her arms around him, wishing she hadn’t grown up, that she was still his little girl. -“I love you, dad. I love you so much.”

He hugged her tightly, stroking her hair. -“I love you too, silly. And remember, this has to work, for both our families’ sake.”

Tara nodded. She felt bad about lying to her father. However, she didn’t want to disappoint him.

“I know. But I doubt it will be that easy.”

“I trust you.”

It was one sentence. Just one sentence that held a promise, a hope, and a hidden vow her father had just bestowed her with. _There is no way out_ , was what he was saying, and _you’ll have to make it work, one way or the other_.

There was no right answer she could give him. Her heart wasn’t in it. She didn’t want this union, she didn’t want this man, and she most certainly did not want to make it work.

Tara just hugged him again, ignoring the pain her father’s words had caused her, then they joined the others who were also saying their goodbyes.

McKenna and Tara, in spite of their endeavours, were crying and hugging. The situation was hard for both of them since they were hardly ever apart. The same situation was with Finn, only he didn’t’ cry. He cupped her face and kissed her forehead instead.

“Remember what I told you. And call me if anything happens.”

“I will.” – she buried her head in his chest. - “Say hi to him from me. Tell him I miss him.”

Finn raised his brow when she pulled back. -“Tara. I thought that was over.”

“It never really started.” – she replied sadly, choking back her cry of pain.

“Ok. Don’t cry. I love you.”

##############################################################################

After they all said their goodbye, the Telfords went to board the plane.

The Tellers had to wait for their flight to Chicago a while longer, which irritated Tara. They were sitting in airport terminal, their luggage already on its way to the plane.

Trinity and Thomas were seated across form Tara and Jax, playing some game on their tablets.  Gemma was leafing through some beauty magazine, whereas Nero read the newspapers. Both of them had reading glasses perched on top of their noses.

Tara crossed her legs, then started rummaging through her purse, looking for her earphones. She sighed defeated when she realised she had probably lost them.

“If you want, you can use mine.” – said Jax, offering her one of his earphones.

Tara frowned. Reluctantly, she took it. -“Thanks. What are you listening go?”

He shrugged. -“Just some eighties songs my dad liked.” - his voice was etched with sadness, though his lips did spread in a shy smile.

Tara nodded in understanding and put the earphone in her ear.

“I never thought you’re an eighties man.”  - she teased, leaning back on her chair.

“Lot of things you don’t know about me.” – he said simply.

“I guess so.”

Somehow, this little conversation wiped away the tension that had descended upon them since their argument that morning. For the next half an hour they just listened to the music on Jax’s iphone, never speaking a word to one another again, though it was unnecessary really.

They were both lost in their thoughts of their deceased parents, reminiscing about good old memories and happy moments they had managed to share with them before they were gone for good.

Gemma observed them from the corner of her eyes and grinned satisfyingly.

“You’re being too obvious, mama.” - Nero said without looking up from his newspapers.

Gemma turned to him and whispered. -“I can’t help it. They look so damn good together. Just look at them. Grace would have loved to see them like this again. I just wish they got along better.”      

“They probably will with time. Just stop being nosy. You know how much Jax hates it. Let them be and see what happens. Let the things take their own course.” – Nero tried to soothe his wife’s enthusiasm with some reality.

Gemma just shook her head not really listening to him and sighed, returning her gaze to her son and Tara.

_Of course they will get along. They were made for each other._


	7. We Are in Charming Now

The Tellers were heading to Chicago to visit Gemma’s parents since they wanted to meet the newest addition to their family. Due to Gemma’s father’s illness, they were unable to travel and therefore couldn’t be there for Jax’s big day.

However, their plans failed. After waiting at the airport for an hour, the Tellers and the other passengers were informed that their flight had been cancelled due to some problem with the plane’s engine.

Having no other choice, they waited for another two hours on baggage claim, then rented two cars, packed their luggage, and headed to Charming.

Those three hours were not very pleasant for Gemma, since she got a headache from Jax and Tara’s constant bickering.

One moment they were fine (not talking, but she would take that over bickering any day!), the next they were at each other’s throats because they both fell asleep and Jax’s phone on which they were listening music to dropped from his lap and was now clearly broken.

Jax blamed Tara because they were sharing his earphones and he was vehement that her arm somehow got tangled in the earphones’ wire and knocked it down.

Tara replied angrily, saying that he wasn’t holding it firmly in his hands and that’s why it fell _while_ they were both asleep.

That resulted in five pair of eyes looking at her like she had grown a second head before Tara realised what she had said and corrected her unintentional innuendo, accompanied with blushed cheeks and silent curses intended for Jax, dagger eyes and all.

Honestly, Gemma was exhausted already with the two of them and they haven’t even reached Charming! She hoped with all her heart that they would at least be nice to each other in public, but they seemed very stubborn to ruin all her hopes of a peaceful life.

_She would just have to do something about it. Starting with the surprise waiting for them when they finally got home._

Ever since Nero and Chibs finally sat down and resolved their differences and agreed that to unify their charters they would have to do something drastic, Gemma had wondered what that might be. And when Nero informed her that he had suggested a marriage, Gemma was over the moon, not hiding her contentment in the slightest.

Of course that she had secretly hoped for such a resolution of the feud, and ok, maybe she did her magic and planted the idea in Nero’s mind. But it was all good intentioned- Grace would agree with her for sure- and all in an effort of getting those two together by hook or by crook. And sure things weren’t ideal now, but Gemma never let herself be dissuaded that in matter of mere months her son and Tara would be happily in love and even thanking her for getting them together.

_They could maybe even grant her a wish of a grandson... Who knew._

Long before she met and married Nero, Gemma was married to John Teller. Jax’s father was the founder of the club and he kept good relations with all the subsequent Sons of Anarchy charters, including that from Belfast.

The two charters, SAMCRO and SAMBEL, were involved in gun-running business with the True IRA. But, due to True IRA’s greediness and John’s unwillingness to compromise with them, the bloodshed began. SAMBEL was caught in the crossfire, and the relations between the two charters deteriorated.

Before all that happened, Chibs and John were good friends. In fact, Gemma and John often visited him and his family. Jax was only two the first time he went to Belfast with them.

And those visits were one of Gemma’s favourite memories. Jax was a timid child in the beginning, often keeping himself to himself, not really desiring to interact with anyone in particular.

The day of their visit was very ill planned since all the members of SAMBEL decided to organise a small get together of their families, which later resulted in over fifty people being crammed in a refurbished warehouse near their clubhouse. All the old ladies and girlfriends were rushing around and helping Grace since she was the president’s wife, hence having the most responsibilities.

Tara was only a baby then and she kept crying and crying, even though she had been fed and changed. Not one woman managed to calm the baby girl and her mother became worried that something might be wrong.

In came little Jax. Standing up from the armchair which he was sitting in, he approached her slowly, like he was afraid of scaring the crying baby even more.

To everyone’s surprise, the little boy was the only one who managed to calm her down, making faces at her and tickling her tummy. Baby Tara would giggle and Jax would giggle with her, and everybody observed their interaction in silence and undisguised astoundment. 

That day, a curious and unusual bond was created between little Jax and baby Tara, one that Gemma hoped from the bottom of your heart had endured even decades of separation.  

 _Too bad that things happened the way they did,_ Gemma reflected sorrowfully. Although, she was keeping her fingers crossed and her mind sharp, just in case they needed a little push from her.

###############################################################################

Gemma made Jax and Tara drive in a separate car, alone, while the rest of them drove with Nero.

Needless to say, the ride was agonizingly exhausting for Tara because Jax either annoyed her with his stupid jokes or his stupid taste in music. Though, Tara suspected that the music was meant more to aggravate her. There was no way in hell that Jax listened to country music.

Nevertheless, he kept humming and singing off key at the top of his lungs. Never mind that Tara had asked him politely several times to change the station, or to just stop singing himself. He would just smirk and continue singing, even though the words weren’t even close to those of the song.

Tara felt like screaming and hitting him. And so she did just that. She yelled at him and changed the station and punched him in the shoulder just to get that frustration of her.

It yielded no fruit. Jax yelled back, with cigarette between his lips, the ashes falling down on his trousers as he shouted how childish she was being. He changed the station back to country.

Naturally, Tara defended herself stating that he was the one being childish for not letting her change the station after she had asked him kindly.

After ten minutes, they fell into the most uncomfortable silence Tara had ever experienced. All she wanted was to be as far away from him as possible, just to let off steam and forget about everything. But she was in a car, Jax and stupid radio as her opponents. She didn’t want to bother with asking him for earphones; she was sure he’d say no just to torture her some more.

Not long after that, both Nero and Jax pulled over suddenly and got out of the cars. Tara observed through the windscreen as they entered some shop. She presumed they were there on club business since the neighbourhood they were currently in screamed danger what with all dim atmosphere and shady characters glancing at her from the street.

She took her phone out of her purse, intending to at least call McKenna or Finn. And then she saw she had one message and one missed call. She hurried to see who it was from. A nostalgic smile appeared on her face when she saw his name glowing on the screen.

 _Damn Jax and his loud music._ She would have probably heard the phone ring hadn't he been so keen on making her life a living hell!

 _He_ was asking her how she was and if she had arrive to Charming yet. He wished to talk to her.

Tara felt a pang of guilt and regret.

After all, leaving Belfast meant leaving everyone behind, including him. They texted and talked a few times since then, but she was well aware that she shouldn't have been doing that. Hurting him was the last thing she wanted. It would have been much better and easier for both of them to stop all communication.

He should move on with his life, and so should she. _Like that’s easy._

Tara knew that she was being selfish by clinging onto him when in fact they never crossed that line. But she had been in love with him for too long and it was hard for her to let him go. And she knew that he felt the same way.

She quickly typed her message, saying that she was tired and that she would call him tomorrow, and sent it. It was a way to give herself some time to prepare for the inevitability that was saying goodbye to him for good.

Five minutes later, Jax came back and they resumed their ride in silence. The tension was radiating off him. He took out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag, seemingly to calm his nerves.

"Is everything alright?" - Tara dared to ask, although she suspected he would tell her off.

"Nah. The Niners have been moving in on our territory." - he answered angrily.

"Oh." - was Tara's answer.

She didn't know much about the overall club business, but the little she knew was thanks to Finn who used to sit down with her and explain the most important things regarding the club.

She wanted to ask Jax what they were planning to do, but decided against it. He was already pissed. Asking him more would most certainly anger him even more.

...

Just his fucking luck! It was his first night back and they already had problems needed to be taken care of.

When Nero became the president of SAMCRO, everyone, including Jax, hoped that relations between different gangs and clubs would somehow become better. It was wishful thinking; Jax knew that well but still...

Nero came through though just as he had promised and things were good for a while. No one stepped on anyone’s territory, they all cooperated for the collective good (the collective good being a huge cut in drug/arms trafficking).

Then one day, his stepfather confided in Jax his plans of going legit and leaving all the illegal business behind. Jax was shocked since illegal business was all he knew since he joined the Sons. How Nero planned on making that happen was beyond him.

Nero just shook his head knowingly, then asked Jax for his support and help. How could he have said no when Nero was the only father he had known since John left this world?

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck!_ Jax knew, he just knew that the decision would come back to bite them in the ass!

Not only were they losing money, but there were some new players in the game now, ones that were prepared to kill the entire charter if needed just to get that territory.

They were in cahoots with the Niners and were planning an attack on them. When, their sources couldn’t tell. Well, at least they knew _something_ and could plan some defence strategy.

Hopefully one that wouldn’t end with all of them dead in the process.

###############################################################################

Nero parked the car in front of Jax and Tara's new house, and Jax parked right behind him. Trinity got out of the car and helped Tara unload the various wedding gifts while Jax and Thomas took care of the luggage.

Tara didn't pay much attention to the house itself because she was exhausted. She hurried to get in and end this day. _Maybe a warm bath and a glass of wine could help ease these tense muscles._

Gemma walked up to her and hugged her. -"Get some rest, baby. We'll deal with everything tomorrow."

Trinity kissed her cheek and said she would come by the tomorrow to help her settle down. Thomas made some naughty insinuations regarding her and Jax, something about christening the bed, and winked at her. She rolled her eyes ( _god! Will she ever stop doing that_!), but chuckled at his silliness.

Tara waved at them as they drove off, then took a deep breath before going back into the house.

Closing the door behind her and turning, Tara slowly took in her new surroundings.

The living room wasn't all that big, but it was nicely furnished. There was a black leather sofa and black armchair next to it. Plasma TV was mounted to the wall, while the round grey coffee table was placed in front of it, with several magazines pilled on it.

The kitchen was even simpler. The cupboards were painted ochre and when Tara opened each of them, she saw that they were all stocked. Some with plates, cups, glasses, and other dishes, while the others held flour, rice, spices, and junk food.

_Good. At least there was food!_

Gemma told her that the house had two bedrooms. Tara opened the door to one of the rooms, and gasped in shock. She covered her mouth with her hand, blinking away the sight before her. It just wouldn’t go away! Damn it!

The room was obviously meant to be a nursery. There was a crib, a stroller, a car seat, a high chair, and even a changing table. The walls were painted in peach colour.

Tara was freaking out, her senses on high alert. _This was too much. Way too much. Who in the world thought to make a nursery? And to furnish it?_

Her throat was dry from sheer panic that had overcome her. Her body started to tremble and she feared her legs betray her.

"Teller!" - she yelled, unable to look away from that damn nursery.

There was no answer. She yelled again.

"What, what?"- he came out of, what Tara now presumed correctly, was the bedroom.

He was naked. Well, not naked. He had a towel wrapped round his hips. Water was dripping off his body, his hair, and his goatee.

Tara gulped, looking at him totally dazed.

_So, he worked out. God, he looked amazing!  Focus Knowles!_

She shook her head slightly to come to her sense. -"What is all this?" - she motioned towards the nursery.

He walked past her holding the towel. -"Oh, fuck! Gemma!"- he said when he saw his mother's work.

He was standing with his back to Tara, the smell of sandalwood and mint mingling in the air around him and Tara inadvertently sniffed him. Upon realising what she had done, she swiftly stepped away, huffing a sigh of gratitude because he didn’t seem to have noticed it.

Because he stood with his back to her, Tara had the perfect view of his Reaper tattoo.

Her gaze followed all the curves and needle movements that had painted this art, feeling mesmerized by the combination of Jax’s complexion and black ink adorning his skin. It was beautiful and suddenly, her fingers itched to touch it, to trace every line and every curve, every indentation and protrusion...

"Did it hurt?" - she asked suddenly, surprising both him and herself, her eyes still fixed on his back.

He turned, a slight frown between his brows as he looked at her.

"What?"

Tara looked up, eyes meeting his. -"The tattoo on your back. It's huge. It must've hurt."

Jax blinked a few times, before smirking. -"Yeah, it did. But it was worth it."

It hurt like hell but the surge of pride he felt when it was finally done and he was able to look at it in the mirror and admire it... Priceless.

It was the day he finally felt a part of the club, a part of SAMCRO family. He was like a kid on a sugar rush. He wished his father could’ve been there with him, sharing his joy.

 His journey as a full-fledged member began that day, as he got his new bike, new kutte and an accompanying tattoo.

Although now,... it was the look on Tara’s face that stroked his ego. Her gaze held so much admiration...

“It’s beautiful and ugly at the same time.” – she said absentmindedly. –“A work of art and a death threat at the same time. Makes one think twice before even talking to you.”

Jax observed her, eyes wide open and mouth agape. _Was she scared of him?_ He took notice of her laboured breathing and shaky voice and his own heart pounding all too fast.

....

He was standing too close to her, making her uncomfortable. Her own mind and body betrayed her as she felt an undeniable and unbelievable pull towards him: this stranger, this savage as she called him often in her head.

_What was wrong with her?_

Jax cleared his throat and stepped back, saving her (or both of them) any additional embarrassment.

I'll talk to Gemma tomorrow about this. Don’t worry." - he nodded towards the nursery.

"Good. Can you go put some clothes on?"

It was really hard to have any civilised conversation with him being all naked and wet.

Jax rolled his eyes and smirked heading to the bedroom, whereas Tara went back to the living room and lay on the couch, placing her purse on the floor.

She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm her nerves.

_This wasn't supposed to be this serious. There wasn't supposed to be any nursery. No, no nursery._

It had never crossed her mind that their parents expected grandchildren so soon after the wedding.

_Did they have any idea just how crazy this whole thing had been right from the start? How can they put so much pressure on her? Did they really expect her and Jax to get at it like rabbits?_

Tara fell asleep on the couch, having nightmares of crying babies, poop, dirty diapers, and Jax laughing at her while she held a baby who peed on her.

And somehow a dripping wet Jax joined her later, only the scene shifted from nursery to bedroom.

In the morning, Tara would think back of her dream and attribute the appearance of Jax to her increased sex desire in general, not his sex appeal. Because she was in no way, shape or form attracted to him. No freaking way.

That night however, when Jax came into the living room and saw that she was asleep, he found a blanket and covered her, then headed to meet with his girl.

And meanwhile, while Tara battled with uninvited guests in her dreams, Jax tried to shake off the strange feeling that moment with Tara earlier had invoked.


	8. Establishing Boundaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Rhydian is played by the handsome-beyond-belief Gabriel Macht.
> 
> Sorry for typos and mistakes.
> 
> Happy reading :3

 

Tara was woken up by the sound of someone knocking on the door. Opening her eyes slowly and yawning, she tried to remember where she was.

_ Something about a wedding, nursery, some naked guy with a tattoo... _

Her body responded with pain when she tried to get up, pounding headache making it unbearable to even open her eyes.

The bed she was lying in was too uncomfortable, hard and too small for sleeping. Her neck and back hurt and, as she was slowly sitting up, a sharp pain shot through her neck. She yelped, making a grimace.

_ Bloody hell! _

Then she remembered that she had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. A fluffy blue blanket was covering her, one that wasn’t there when she went to sleep. She assumed Jax covered her, probably the night before.

_ Good, ‘cause the last thing I need is to catch a cold! _

The person that was knocking was still persistent, so Tara got up and padded to the door, rubbing her eyes to try and wake up. Driving back to Charming with Jax yesterday was awful and everything that happened that day drained her emotionally, especially having to say goodbye to her family.

She unlocked the door and opened it, only to find Gemma, her sunglasses perched on top of her head, with what seemed like a picnic basket in one, and her purse in the other hand. She was grinning widely at Tara, who had a confused look on her face.

“Gooood moooorning!” – came Gemma’s chirpy voice.

"Mrs. Teller? What are you doing here?"

Gemma laughed at her words, dismissing them with a wave of her hand. She took Tara by surprise she hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek, then entering the house like it was her own. A dumbfounded expression still etched on her face at the woman’s audacity (because come on, who walks into somebody’s house like that, without an invitation? At this hour of the morning no less!), Tara closed the door then followed Gemma to the kitchen.

Gemma put the basket on the counter and turned to Tara, that creepy smile (yes creepy because who smiles like that this early in the morning? Where did she get all that energy from anyway?) still on her face. Tara was leaning against the doorframe, her hands crossed on her chest as she stifled a yawn.

"Oh, sweetheart. I told you already, it's Gemma. Or mom. However you wish to call me. Did you sleep well?" - she asked, taking out several plates with sandwiches, a mountain of pancakes and waffles, and a bottle of orange juice.

Ok, so she knew her way around the house. Jax and her house. Tara felt an odd pang of jealousy and protectiveness. This was supposed to be her home now, and yet here was Jax’s mum, going about her business like it’s nothing. The fact angered Tara slightly, but then she bit her lip, feeling guilty for thinking such thoughts.

Gemma was just being helpful. She even brought her breakfast. But there was no way Tara was going to refer to her as mum. She already had two women she called that.

"No. My neck hurts. That couch is just awful." - she finally answered, sighing, turning her head left and right to ease the pain. Each time, she heard a cracking sound.

“Oh my, that sounds bad. You should ask Jax to give you massage. I’m sure he’ll comply gladly.”

The words were followed by a wink and Tara’s mouth fell open.  _What? How is this appropriate?_

Gemma went about her business around the kitchen like she didn’t just insinuate that her daughter-in-law and son should use a massage as foreplay, opening the top drawer and taking out two forks. Then she opened one of the cupboards and took out two glasses, placing them on the table, oblivious of Tara’s bewildered expression.

"I'm just going to take a shower. I won't take long." – said Tara, happy to stay away from Gemma for at least five minutes. The woman was exhausting!

Gemma nodded, that smile still on her face as Tara went to the bedroom, since all her stuff was there.

She looked around the room, taking in the queen-sized bed with plush cushions and duvet, a huge closet and some ornaments adorning the commode and small night tables.

Not half as bad as she thought, all things considered. She was definitely going to sleep in that bed tonight. Sans Jax, of course. Or with him and the pillow barrier. But never ever again on that goddamn couch.

Jax’s clothes were discarded haphazardly over the floor and bed and she grunted irately as she made her way to the bathroom.

...........................

 About fifteen minutes later, Tara was back in the kitchen, showered and dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. Her  damp hair was tied in a ponytail, Tara being too lazy to do anything with it.

"Why did you sleep on the couch, sweetheart?"- Gemma asked her worriedly, motioning for Tara to sit.

"I was tired and I came there to rest. I guess I just fell asleep."

It wasn’t a lie. She had indeed been tired last night, so much so that this morning she couldn’t even remember where she was. Gemma raised her head and looked at her suspiciously although she didn’t ask Tara anything else on the subject.

Gemma sat opposite her and poured them both juice. Tara took one of the sandwiches and began eating it. When her stomach rumbled, Tara remembered that she hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday’s lunch.

"Where's Jax?" – Gemma proceeded with her questioning of Tara between bites.

"I haven't got the foggiest idea. He must have left really early. I assume he would have opened the door if he was home." – came Tara’s sarcastic response.

_ How would she know where Jax was? It’s not like he’s reporting to her! _

Gemma observed her daughter-in-law and couldn't help but smile at her.  _Witty indeed!_

Tara was the kind of woman she always wanted for her son. Strong, independent, but still aware of the club life and the responsibilities it brought. Those little memories from their past was something Gemma cherished very much, and it pained her to know that so much time had been lost because of the club business.

Gemma had a feeling that if all that shit hadn't gone down, Jax and Tara could have got closer over the years, and maybe they would have already been married and have a kid or two.

She remembered one summer when the Telfords came to visit them in Charming.  At the time, Tara was two and a half years old and Jax about four and a half.

Her little boy was so fascinated with the little Irish girl, that no one could separate them.

And to think that he was so shy around her when she was a baby. Now thought, it was obvious Jax was anything but shy. Even before they came, he couldn’t contain his excitement when Gemma told him that he would be seeing his little Irish friend again.

The way he looked at her could just melt one's heart. Pure adoration was what it was. He even asked his mom to sit next to Tara at the table. The two would exchange shy smiles and talk in a language only they seemed to understand. They talked too fast and used some incomprehensible words, that everyone else at the table observed the interaction of those two toddlers in awe.

Whenever they were at TM, Jax would take little Tara's hand and take her to garage to show her bikes that the mechanics were repairing. Of course, neither Jax nor Tara had any idea what they were actually doing, but they would nonetheless sit in a corner and watch in amazement as the mechanics did their jobs.

The men would occasionally ask Jax to get some tool for them and the boy would happily oblige, bursting with pride that they’d asked him to help them.

They would sit there for a while, little Jax and Tara, then head to the playground that was made at the lot, Tara always close to him.

The amount of love and care Gemma's eldest son had for Tara was unlike anything she had ever witnessed.

It was pure, undaunted love of two kids.

Gemma of course kept in contact with Chibs's new wife over the years, in spite of the feud, and knew almost everything about Tara. She was amazed by her education, her successes, and most of all she was amazed by the young woman that she had become.

Times like these Gemma wished men weren’t that stupid to let business get in the way of family.

It was a shame Jax was an ass now, behaving like a spoiled brat that couldn't see just how great Tara was. Too bad he forgot about her and their time together when they were little.

"Do you like the house?"

Tara smiled and nodded, taking a sip of orange juice. She put down the glass and started cutting a pancake.

"I like it. It's not too big and pretentious, I like that. Although, I have to talk to you about something." – she put the fork and her knife down, taking a deep breath.

"Oh?" - Gemma looked guilty, Tara observed, her brow raised at the older woman.

And Gemma somehow assumed it probably had to do with the nursery. Oh, boy, she was in trouble.

Honestly, she just wanted to speed up the process and make them get it on already. She was getting old, her kids were growing up faster than she would like, and the only thing she wanted was to have grandkids and see her family happy for once.

And she just knew that Jax and Tara would have the cutest kids ever. She could already imagine toddlers running around the house, yelling 'grandma!'. So what? Was it too much of her to ask them to give her at least that?

Tara put the fork on the plate and leaned back on the chair, her eyes fixed on Gemma. She would have let Jax handle this issue, but since Gemma was already there, it was better to get it over with immediately.

"Gemma. I understand you wanted to help and set everything up before I came. And I really appreciate that. However, I was quite frankly shocked to see that you have also included a nursery in your decorating plans."

"Tara-" – Gemma started, wanting to excuse herself, but Tara was having none of it.

"Please, let me finish. The fact is, I don't know your son. I only just met him, and we were both forced into this marriage. Neither you nor my parents can expect us to just go along with it and act like this is some trivial thing. It isn't. This is my life, Jax's life, and our life together we're talking about. We can hardly speak to each other without yelling and cursing. I seriously doubt things will change anytime soon. So to be clear, there will be no baby-making action."

Gemma licked her lips nervously before speaking, a guilty look on her face.

"I was just so excited about this. You two are perfect for each other. You were so cute when you were little that I always imagined you becoming spouses in the future. I know what you're like right now, but it will get better with time. And maybe then, you will thank me for the nursery."

When they were little? Has Gemma gone mad? How could she have paired Jax and her based on the fact what they each looked like in their childhood? It was hardly a way to base somebody’s life together.

Yes, she had been a pretty child, and she assumed Jax had been a handsome boy as well, though she’d never seen any pictures of him. What Tara couldn’t comprehend was how Gemma could base such assumptions on physical appearance alone.

Tara took a deep breath in order not to yell at Gemma to pay attention and actually listen to what she was saying. She tried to keep her voice normal.

"Ok. I like you, Gemma. But that was overstepping the line. And I do not like to be cornered. I accepted to marry your son, but that is it. Up until now, you and my parents have dictated what we should do. From now on, I'm handling this on my own accord. I will not have you, my parents or anyone else for that matter decide  _if_  and  _when_  I'll have sex and have children. That is absolutely out of the question."

Gemma was staring at Tara with her mouth opened. This was unexpected. Gemma wasn't used to people standing up to her. But, there was nothing she could say that would get her out of this. Besides, as much as it pained Gemma, Tara was right.

They were both adults and she couldn't impose her desires on them, no matter how much she wanted to knock some sense into both of them.

"I'm sorry, baby. You are absolutely right. I only wanted to make things easier, but I guess I just created an even bigger mess. I just want you guys to be happy, to be free to love each other without the club business between you two like in the past."- she stood up and hugged Tara, gently stroking her back. -"I just want you guys to be happy, together."

_ Like in the past? What past? What was Gemma talking about? _

After a few moments Tara hugged her back, still unsure how to take Gemma’s apology Obviously, the woman was resolute to make this Jax/Tara thing happen. Tara almost felt sorry for shattering her dreams, but only barely sorry.

"Thank you for everything else.” - Tara finished, already tired of speaking about her so-called marriage.

Gemma caressed her cheek and smiled. -"You're welcome. I just know that you two will make this work."

Tara forced a smile, not wanting to disappoint Gemma, but deep down she knew that Gemma's wishes would not come true. Her words echoed that of Tara’s father, suffocating her, pain spreading through her body.

Why did people feel entitled to condition her with such requests? Tara was becoming aware that she had no free will, no freedom, and maybe not even a way out of this mess.

Jax and she agreed to keep this charade going for a few months and then end it. There would be no bedroom plays or anything like that. It would be a miracle if they even spoke to each other during that period.

On top of it all, Jax had a steady girlfriend, as weird as it sounded, and she had someone she cared deeply about back in Ireland. Clearly, whatever plans their families had, would never come true.

That, however, made Tara feel bad about the whole arrangement. She just hoped that no one would get hurt when the marriage came to an end.

Because it had to end. Her life was not in America, not in Charming and most certainly not with Jax Teller.

They resumed their breakfast and conversation for a while.

Gemma asked Tara about her life back in Ireland and if she had anyone special there. Gemma was clearly fishing for information, ones Tara most certainly would never provide her with. Tara successfully lied, hoping that her face didn’t reveal anything, though she could feel her lips curve into a smile at the mere thought of  _him_.

Then Gemma washed the plates and packed them back in the basket. Tara put the leftovers in the fridge in case Jax came back home hungry.

Home as in a place where they live together but separately. Not as their  _home_  home. Just to be clear on that.

"Come by TM later." - Gemma said when they were at the door.

"I'm not sure if I can find the way by myself." – Tara chuckled, remembering her fiasco the first time she came to Charming.

She went sightseeing as an excuse to get away from the overwhelming atmosphere at the clubhouse, and two hours later, she had no idea where she was.

Instead of panicking, she tried to find her way back to the clubhouse. The fact that she seemed to have wandered off into some remote part of the town did little to assure her that she would find the way back.

Having no other choice, she called the only local number she had saved in her phone: Jax’s. Tara described him in great detail the surrounding area, praying that Jax wasn’t that blond and that he was capable of finding her.

He came on his bike, and after taking the mickey out of her, which she did not appreciate at all and which she clearly showed by glaring at him like he was state enemy number one, she  climbed onto the back of his bike and reluctantly slid her arms around his torso.

She stubbornly ignored the feel of his ripped abs under her fingers, the way they contracted when he would turn left or right, the warmth emanating from his skin under the thin fabric of his shirt.

When they got back to the clubhouse, Jax of course didn’t waste any time to mock her again, causing Tara to burst in anger and start shoving him, all the while yelling how stupid and immature he was being.

He just continued laughing which made her even angrier. Screaming in frustration, she stomped to the clubhouse followed by the sound Jax’s laughter.

Gemma’s response brought her back to present time.

"Oh, don't worry about that. Jax will take you."

Gemma smiled and put her sunglasses on, then got into her car and drove off.

_ Yeah, right,  _ Tara thought.  _Like she would rely on him to take her anywhere..._

 

Tara went back into the house and checking on the clock to see what time it was, decided to call  _him_.

She lay on the couch and dialled his number. After a few rings he answered.

“Hi. I was looking forward to your call.” – Rhydian said and Tara could imagine him smiling.

Her lips spread into a wide grin and her stomach fluttered at the sound of his voice. -“Hi. I just wanted to let you know that I have arrived safely.”

“God, I miss you, Tara. This feels worse than when you went to England. At least then I knew you’d be back.” – his voice seemed mournful  and Tara tried not to cry.

Usually, Rhydian was more reserved, hiding his feelings from her. This was an unexpected confession that broke Tara even more.

She took a deep breath as tears sprung to her eyes. -“I miss you too, believe me. Don’t think I wish to be here. I’d rather be there with you. This whole situation is driving me mad. I hate that I have to be here.”

“Are you angry for some reason? Do you want to tell me about it?” – he sensed that Tara  was more than just annoyed.

“She made a fucking nursery! Can you believe it? A nursery! Like I’m going to sleep with him!” – Tara complained, not able to contain herself any longer.

There was a long silence on the other line, that Tara thought Rhydian might have hung up.

“Rhydian?”

She heard a sharp intake of breath, and she could see him running his hand furiously through his hair.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t easy for me. Imagining you and him... It rips me apart. I’m sorry. I can only imagine what it must be like for you. I never wanted you to be unhappy. I hate listening to you talk about this and not be able to help you.”

Tara was already crying, sobs escaping her lips. She tried to muffle them by covering her mouth with her hand. She could already tell that she would not be able to keep herself under control, so she hurried to end the conversation.

“Nothing’s going to happen between us, Rhydian, nothing. Yo-you know it’s you I love. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be ok. I miss you so much. I’ll call you soon.”

“I love you, Tara. I’m here if you need me.”  

Tara could feel him struggling to keep himself in check, to not say whatever was on his mind just to not make things more difficult for her. His words caused another wave of tears.

“Goodbye, Rhydian.”

“Bye, love.”

After they hung up, Tara curled on the couch and started crying uncontrollably. All the pain, frustration, anger, stress, and annoyance that had been building up for the last few months finally caused her to break down.

Her whole body shook as her wails filled the place that was to be her new home.


	9. IMPORTANT NOTICE!

This is not an update but rather an important notice.

I've edited all the previous chapters of Words Meet Heartbeats meaning that this version of story differs from the original one. Dialogues are expanded, some things are different, some new information which was not present in the original version is introduced now.

I strongly advise you to re-read all the previous chapters because it will be easier for you all to follow the story with all the facts in check.

Feedback is always welcomed. New chapters will be added in a day or two.


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